Well, so much has occurred since Spring Break that I should have blogged about, but I just found it hard to keep myself seated long enough to do it. But here we go.
New York has left me with lots of loose ends in my life that need to be braided into a rope that will be strong enough for me to swing into the next part of my life on. The decision to move to New York has required some rearranging of my life. I must now pack up my stuff to go into a storage unit for the summer while I am subletting. Originally, it was going to be a move from Fred to DC, one apartment to another. I now have to go through my life’s collection of stuff and decide what merits retention and what should meet the garbage heap. I also have to figure out what is worth taking to New York immediately and what should wait until the fall.
With this move comes the necessary emotional inventory. I need to spend some time with myself to figure out what business is unfinished here and is worth completely or what should just be left to be blown away in the wind as I walk away from Mary Washington. It all is very draining amidst the continuous stream of work that must be completed for classes and productions.
In the past two weeks I have been to two auditions. I did one in New York for Maine State Music Theatre and the other was in DC for Signature’s Overtures program. The Maine State audition felt very awkward for me because I made a quick decision together and just had not quite settled into it. It was a great experience. I spent my morning in the holding room watching the other people. Looking for little things like: what they wore, how they prepared for the room, appropriate holding room etiquette, the overall tone of the room. I just sat and drank in the experience. It probably may have been why I just felt unfocused by the time I got to the room because I got lost in watching the people. I didn’t have a bad audition by any means. I just don’t think I was what they needed. Fine with me. Moving on.
I went this past Saturday to Signature Theatre in Shirlington to audition for the Overtures program. This audition I was prepared for. I went in and I just let it go. I sang my heart out. I had had a rough morning vocally and was concerned, but as soon as I opened my mouth all of that disappeared and the sound was clear and wonderful. I was just able to kind of sit back into my audition with new confidence and could put focus less on producing the sound and work on doing something with it. I then waited around for the dance portion, which was not bad. I was a little slow to process it because I was just not very awake. My mind was not ready to be fully engaged in the action. I figured it out finally. It was fine. Overall, I feel like I did a really good job and was proud of my work that morning, which makes me feel a little more confident about my future auditions.
Coming out of this time also is my lighting design for the final show of the season. This has sadly felt more like a burden than anything else for me. I just have not in the midst of my other insanity found the energy to prioritize this project anywhere near the top of the list, but it is coming along and I think will be a fine product. I just wish I had put a little more thought into it, I guess. It looks great to others, but to me I know there is so much more I could have done.
I just need to survive. I find myself checking out more and more from this place, and I have to constantly keep myself in check in order to continue here. It is just hard. Senioritis is working really hard against me. No self, keep trucking.
0 Responses to “Since New York”